Pathway Partner

Happy Birthday Honey!

Today is my husband’s birthday. He’s 48! Finally… catching up to me. Almost 20 years ago I met him at a public radio, outdoor music festival where I bravely walked up to him and asked him for his name and phone number. Of course he thought I was high and I thought he gave me a fake name because he rattled off some Italian long-ass name that I just figured was fake. Turns out, I was not high, just assertive and he did not give me a fake name, he is actually Italian!

I never imagined that on that day, the day I wasn’t even going to go to the festival and then at the very last minute decided to go – who ever thought I would have met the man that 20 years later I would be sharing reading glasses with. We’ve had such a wonderful time (and some not so great times) over the past 20 years and I wouldn’t trade one minute away.
Of course it’s really about his birthday and I am happy to say he is outside right now in the 50 degree, misty, already drenched ground golfing with one of his best friends, so I know he’s in his glory and doing what he loves most.
Happy Birthday Honey – and I hope you have many, many more!

Love, Lies and too much Power!

I am trying not to get too caught up in another one of the “beautiful people” problems going on right now, yes, I am talking about Maria and Arnold. It’s hard not to though. I was watching The Cobert Report last night, and Stephen too was trying not to get caught up in the whole story and of course he ended up succumbing to the gossip – mostly because it’s too hard to believe that Maria didn’t know ANYTHING!!! Like Arnold was having an affair with a household staffer and Maria didn’t know. Or Arnold had a “love child” with this women over 10 years ago and still… Maria didn’t know!!!

I have to wonder if sometimes these wives look the other way for their own self worth. I mean if they are looking the other way to save the family or save the career of themselves or their spouse, isn’t that a problem in and of itself? Isn’t the long term effect of this whole story going to effect so many people? The “love child” himself, Arnold and Maria’s own kids, the family of the “love child”, etc., etc., etc.
Bigger question is WHY? Why do these men feel so compelled to cheat on their wives? Do they need that many outlets? Are they bored with the women they are married to? Are they that insecure? According to LiveScience, power and corruption go together. They say that men in power have feelings of invincibility and a “no one can touch me” attitude. They also have more opportunities to step out of line. “Power has been and will forever be entangled with corruption for various reasons” said Daniel Kruger, a social and evolutionary psychologist at the University of Michigan’s School of Public Health. However, the general public think men in power need to have higher morals, do the right thing and set good examples. Yet these men in power think of themselves as invincible and will take great risks that could cause huge consequences. That’s because they value the immediate rewards and don’t really think they’ll get caught or think of the “down the road” consequences. Kruger also explains that after a while of behaving this way, one’s immoral behavior can become routine and one will stop thinking about their behavior consciously.
So back to Maria and Arnold. I can’t even process how she must feel, especially if she really did just come to find this out in the last few months as they claim. Can you imagine being married to someone for 25 years and finding out that not only did they cheat on you but by the way, they had a “love child” that has been a part of your home for the past 10 years! I am not sure how she’ll ever be able to trust any one – especially a man in a relationship, again.

Buying Organic Foods

There is lots of talk about organic food and maybe your’re on the fence about buying organic or not. If you are, please see this list of “The Dirty Dozen” and also the “The Clean Fifteen”. If you aren’t ready to commit to organic 100% – at least buy the items from the dirty dozen from an organic source whenever you can. The items on “The Clean Fifteen” list, are OK to purchase conventionally.

I have been talking to my students all last month about this list and wanted to share it with everyone…

The Dirty Dozen:
These fruits and vegetables tend to be high in pesticide residue when grown conventionally. Buy them from an organic source whenever you can.

  • celery
  • peaches
  • strawberries
  • apples
  • blueberries
  • nectarines
  • sweet bell peppers
  • spinach, kale, collard greens
  • cherries
  • potatoes
  • imported grapes
  • lettuce
The Clean 15:
When grown conventionally, these items remain low in pesticide residue. There are fewer advantages to buying them from an organic source.

  • onions
  • avocado
  • sweet corn
  • pineapple
  • mango
  • sweet peas
  • asparagus
  • kiwi fruit
  • cabbage
  • eggplant
  • cantaloupe
  • watermelon
  • grapefruit
  • sweet potato
  • sweet onion

Being Present

When we are walking around in our every day life, the average person uses about 2% of their conscious mind. You heard me correctly… 2%. That means that normally, we’re walking around on auto-pilot, not really being present at all. Couple that with the fact that the average person has about 50,000 + thoughts per day and it’s no wonder you forget to stop somewhere on the way home from work. You’re on auto-pilot! You’re not even driving your car, your subconscious is. Now that’s really scary.

So what do we do about this? How can we learn to stay more present… in the moment? Well, we do this through meditation or deep relaxation. There are many, many different ways to meditate. It’s a lot easier to do then one might think. Yet the benefits one reaps from a daily practice is stunning (see link to 108 Reasons to meditate).
I practice (and teach) a mantra mediation. I use my mantra that was assigned to me by my Guide in 1975 to keep me present. When my mind wanders I bring myself back to present by reciting my mantra silently to myself. I am a very firm believer in meditation and the mantra meditation especially, but even sitting quietly for a few minutes a day is very beneficial.
Meditation is a process and it’s effects are cumulative so the longer you’ve been meditating, the more results you will have from it. Meditation will help the mind to slow down its rapid series of thoughts and feelings and replace that mental activity with inner awareness and attention. Therefore, while meditating, it’s not as though your thinking or analyzing different situations, it’s not as though you’re having an internal conversation. Meditation is simply a quiet, effortless, one-pointed focus of attention and awareness. *
There are other ways for one to practice mindfulness. Try one of these the next time you have a little time to spare. When you’re washing the dishes, opt out from using the dishwasher. Use your hands, soap and a sponge and really pay attention to each little detail of how you wash, rinse and dry the dishes. How the soap forms on your sponge, how the bubbles spill off the item as you’re rinsing it. How the dishes might squeak when you’re drying them. Do the same thing when you’re folding clothes. Fold each item with care and much thought. Notice how you fold short sleeved T-shirts compared to long sleeved ones, etc. This may sound silly and boring, but if you are able to practice some mindful exercises each day, it’ll help you to use more than 2% of your conscious mind.
I hope you’re able to find a way to bring yourself to a more present state of mind. Whether it’s through meditation, deep relaxation or practicing mindfulness every day, or a combination of the three.
Namaste and be well…
*Some are thoughts from Swami Rama in his book “Meditation and Its Practice”. You can find this book at my store on my website at www.pathwaypartner.com/doula
You can also check out my website to find a mantra meditation class that I am teaching in the Metro-Detroit area.
Link to 108 reasons to meditate.
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